Beyond Resolutions

Not the time for resolutions, for me.

Photo by The Lazy Artist Gallery from Pexels

2021 has been my worst year ever. The perfect outcome of a disaster recipe. The pandemic just added the topping.

Reinventing myself worked only in part, during the last years. The other part pulled everything down the sink with it. Marriage included. Not something usually mentioned in the success stories.

I got only one thing back: Myself. An authentic and solid self.

Which is not that bad, actually. I’m sure most people can’t tell that.

Well, excellent time for propositions, right? Mandatory, in my case, I’d say.

Resolutions didn’t work much in the past, for me, but started working in the last years. Not enough to save the Titanic, but enough to drop the lifeboat.

I’m now 53, and I’m restarting from scratch, again. I already have a long list of major difficulties and decisions awaiting, on this year’s calendar. It sounds like a perfect time for responsible propositions. And you can bet I must squeeze the last drop of responsibility out of my dreaming mind. Nothing is going to happen without me working to deserve it. Anything I got without deserving it is in the past. Now, I must pay the bill for the last and the next lunch.

But precisely because I’m 53, my life is now or never.

I’m old enough to know that nothing will change overnight, of course. And I’m also old enough to know that difficulties will always be on my calendar, until I die. They’re just part of a meaningful life. You shoot one and another one backups. And you must keep shooting regularly, or it will be like a massive zombie attack.

But I also know the power of commitment, the power of deciding in the present and staying focused. The ability of the attitude to shape the reality around you.

Now it’s about deciding. It’s not about propositions. It’s about clarity of goals and a powerful direction.

Now, it’s the point in my life that is now or never.

I’m not going to let my year survive. I’m not going to let my year be a preparation for the next one.

I’m going to make my year shine. No matter how planets tell my horoscope that I’m fucked.

If things are not going to work — and it will happen again and again — I’ll still have lived and tried, you can bet on it.

I know that it sounds like motivational speaking. But I know it’s not, because that energy has been there, inside me, during all the last year. It’s what made me walk through. I felt strong, stronger than ever. And I’ve been strong in the facts. Nobody will tell me that, but I can tell that to myself with honesty. It counts.

I’m riding. I’m free to ride. Fuck resolutions. Time to make my year shine.

It’s going to be a great year. Because, no matter what, I’ll commit myself to making it so.